If your internal dialogue is the reflection of your soul, what is yours saying to you?
When my meditation teacher first suggested I read Non-Violent Communication, I have to say, I had some major internal push back.
My first thoughts (courtesy of my ego) went a bit like this. “I don’t speak violently. I’m impeccable with my word. I’ve worked really hard to learn how to think before I speak. I don’t need to read this book, but I know some people that do!” This is hard to admit, and even more difficult to see in print, but it was true. Those were my first thoughts, and if that was what my immediate reaction to the suggestion, how many other people would have a similar self dialogue?
Like so many things that are brought to you by spirit, the book kept crossing my path, being mentioned, falling off of bookshelves, etc. Finally, the book ended up on my Masters of Wisdom teacher training reading list last year.
And there it was.
I had to read it.
Here’s what happened:
Reading the book was LIFE CHANGING for me.
- I immediately began to see how I had ducked responsibility in ALL of the biggest conflicts of my life. I truly was the cause of my own suffering.
- It was humbling in a way that purified me and allowed me to forgive myself.
- I was hit in the face with the fact that I was still very much a work in progress in regards to how I spoke to myself. I would finally realize the biggest thing holding me back from the life I was actively dreaming, but kept falling short of, was the last little bit of "self ego speak" much like that described in the intro of this article. I had learned through meditation how to just observe these negative thoughts that were holding me back, but now I had a set of tools that would allow me to examine the roots of their existence and take action against their mind numbing repetition.
After a year of recommending this book to many of my patients and observing the positive effects it had on their lives, I felt compelled to create a workshop around this timeless & intelligent piece of work. Not only did I fall in love with the book, I adopted a belief that if everyone read it and began to use these learned communication skills, it just might change the world for the better. If everyone read this book it would raise the emotional intelligence of the reader and spill over into every person he or she came in contact with. Like he is so often, my teacher davidji was right. The things that I resisted are the things I needed the most. (Click to tweet.)
After a year of applying many of these principles I can truthfully say my inner dialogue has taken on a sweeter tone for the most part. And when the not so nice thoughts float uninvited into my internal conversation with myself, I understand my own needs and wants better. I've become grateful rather than resentful for this part of my ego. I hear others better by feeling into what their unmet needs are and I'm better able to show up for them in way that serves them. I don't know a living person who wouldn't benefit from all of this awareness.
If you are looking for a way to intensify your ability to flow compassion to yourself and others, this book is for you.
If you want to learn how to grow, shift, or rebirth the communication aspect of some of your most treasured relationships than I encourage you join us for Surviving the Holidays with Grace in person Nov 21, 2015 or to sign up for a notice when the virtual course is available. If you have friends in St. Petersburg you'd like to invite to the event, please feel free to share this page or invite them to the Facebook event.
We will use a combination of techniques taught by Marshal Rosenburg in combination with heart opening meditations that will leave you feeling more open and heart centered in your dialogue than ever before.
If you find yourself dreading the holidays because you don’t want a repeat of last years familial verbal exchanges I challenge you to join us and give these techniques a try. What have you got to lose? This might be the best give to yourself (and the world) all year long.
For a sneak peak of one of the meditations we will use in this course, click here and practice a meditation to mend your heart.
The meditation is also embedded below for your convenience. I hope to see you in November!