EPISODE 10 | 5 STEPS TO CLEARING UNFINISHED BUSINESS | Erin Gray, LCMHC

Unfinished Business & How it is Wrecking Your Fertility

Our topic today on Unfinished Business may feel really uncomfortable but it can be a game changer. It’s worth every ounce of your energy to shine a light on it so you don’t have to spend an eternity’s worth of energy repressing it. I am joined by the great Erin Gray and together we cover our definition of unfinished business, give specific details on how they could affect fertility, share some exercises to release repressed emotion, and help you decide when you may need to seek professional help on this topic.

Today's sponsor is Organic Conceptions, the online program designed to help you work through the emotions of an infertility journey with your partner yielding a better understanding of yourself, each other, and your relationship, all from the comfort of your own home.

Takeaways

[2:35] Disclaimer: This is a messy yet powerful topic. It only seems overwhelming because it may be something that’s been hidden away for a long long time, what we like to call a sleeping dragon. It’s really rather simple to address though and we’ve seen it be the difference maker in some really tough cases.

[3:03] Erin’s definition of unfinished business is anything that could be getting between you and an unsuccessful pregnancy or anything that doesn’t seem complete.

[5:45] Long before something hits your physical system, it has first run through your energetic, emotional and mental system. This is important to understand for treating and supporting all aspects and being sure not to blame yourself.

[9:35] We give some examples and more detail about sleeping dragons that need to be set free to open up your fertility. Some of these may include miscarriage, abortion, divorce, ‘ex’ relationships, kids from another relationship, fear of change or losing identity, inculturation, affairs, losing your body, remorse over past medical decisions, family relationships.

[27:37] We share some exercises for you to do on a separate piece of paper to just yourself.

 

[29:36] If you experience feelings of shame, crying, big emotions like anger or resistance, shutting down, or disassociation, physical feelings like those are the sleeping dragons and it’s very healthy and OK to get professional help.

[31:14] What are the steps to cleaning up our unfinished business?

  • Realize it may not be as big of a mess as you think it is.

  • Own your mess. No blame allowed here, only righteous ownership.

  • Decide if you need help, and what type of help works best for you.

  • Forgiveness of self or those that are involved.

  • Realize that just because you had unfinished business, it isn't a prognosis suggesting infertility. This is about you doing the work that is required to make sure there are no loose ends energetically because this is work only YOU can do.

[35:02] The mind is truly a powerful tool. We’ve witnessed this be a game changer for women that had multiple failed IVFs who went on to conceive naturally, to Advanced Maternal Age cases, to Sperm Donor cases where the pregnancy finally took after unearthing and addressing some unfinished business, so we know this is powerful stuff.

[36:56] We provide a quiz to hear more from you and to give you some of our expert advice on this topic.

 

Continue Your Journey:

Caroline Myss

Christiane Northrup



EPISODE 9 | MINDFUL MOMENTS | Forgiveness Meditations for Your Fertility Journey

A Fertility Meditation -Honing the Skill of Forgiveness

We are in interesting times. Everywhere you turn there seem to be intense emotions and angry accusations flying. From the #metoo to righteous anger over recent violent events, I thought it was a good time to record an antidote to all of this anger. Today we will be focusing on the skill of forgiveness. It's a skill that needs to be practiced in order to make it a permanent part of ourselves & anyone who's been trying to conceive can attest to the myriad of ways the Universe is presenting them with an opportunity to learn to forgive yourself and others. 


Takeaways

[:57] Anger is a powerful emotion and one that can cause great harm or tremendous growth. It's completely up to us how we choose to use it in our lives. And I say use it because it can create great movement in our lives and a fertility journey. Finally letting ourselves off the hook for something we did when we were 20, forgiving our partner if they have some sort of block to having a child whether that’s mental or physical, or forgiving ourselves for something we did or said, especially if when hormonally hijacked on something like Clomid can be key to opening up space within ourselves.

[1:15] Remaining angry with someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Imagine what it does when the person you are angry with is you! Refusing to acknowledge our anger with ourselves or someone else can cause great harm on all three levels — physically, emotionally, and mentally. From a TCM perspective, we actually diagnose a type of depression that is the result of anger and frustration being turned inwards and pushed down until it eventually eats up all of a person's joy and turns into a smoldering depression. Sometimes I see this as a major cause of unexplained infertility.

[2:23] So what is the solution? First, identify what you are actually angry about, who you are angry at, and what part you played in the situation. After we identify it, we accept it as something that happened in the past or a past version of ourselves if we are to blame and then we commit to continue to release it as many times as it takes until we reach a state of complete forgiveness for everyone involved. This takes great patience and commitment but it’s the greatest gift we can give ourselves.

[3:20] Forgiveness is never for the other person. It's always for ourselves. It's letting go of something that is causing us great pain and it takes incredible strength and repetition to continue to forgiveness. One must not confuse this with weakness or with letting the other person or ourselves off of the hook.

[3:58] When you find you are having trouble forgiving, remember we are all human. And just as you’re not the culmination of one thing or one action or mistake, neither is someone else.

[4:04] In today's meditation we will be quietly asking ourselves some questions so we can zero in on where we carry the anger or frustration in our body and we will use a mantra to help release the bodily feeling or the obsessive thoughts that sometimes occur with anger. According to Ram Das in Buddhism mantra means “mind protecting.” A mantra protects the mind by preventing it from going into its usual mechanical habits, which often are not our optimal conscious perspective.

[4:50] Mantras can be super helpful when we are feeling consumed by a feeling or replaying someone's word or a situation in our head. Not only can you use this as the mantra during sitting meditation, but you can use it in your waking day when you become aware that your thoughts have drifted back into replay mode. When you become aware this is happening, simply repeat the mantra to yourself several times until you feel some space or peace open up inside of you.

[5:54] Today we will be using a mantra heralding the archetype of the Green Tara. In the Mahayana Buddhist tradition, it is believed that she is a Bodhisatta, or a Buddha, who has chosen to stay accessible to humans to help relieve their suffering. She is said to awaken our wisdom so we see the truth of our reality and to heighten the compassion of the person repeating her mantra or focusing on her figure.

[6:22] Buddhists say her qualities are accessible to anyone regardless of religion or creed, so fear not if aren't Buddhist, it can still be a strong practice. However, If you have a strong Christian background and this makes you uncomfortable I wish to stress that this isn't worshiping false Gods, rather it is asking to have the same qualities the figure was known to embody.

[7:27] The Sanskrit mantra we will be using is a bit of tongue twister, "Om Tare Tu Tare Ture Swaha" but that's okay because it will act as a magnet of concentration. Sanskrit mantras are interesting because they are based on seed syllables or Bija mantras, that set up vibrations fields though sound. They work even when recited silently, reverberating within.

[7:49] Meditation begins.

TEXT FORGIVENESS TO 44222 TO DOWNLOAD MEDITATION

[23:28]  Anytime in your waking day if you sense anger, or frustration, silently to yourself use the mantra to help release it as you remember your commitment to forgive for the sake of yourself.

[24:01] POEM from Prayers of Honoring, by Pixie Lighthorse.

 

Continue Your Journey & References:

EPISODE 8 | DO YOUR LADY PARTS NEED A COACH? | Mary Ellen Kramp, PT

Understanding the role physical therapy can have in treating infertility.

Today I am here with Mary Ellen Kramp, Physical Therapy Specialist as well as a technician in craniosacral therapy, lymphatic drainage, and visceral manipulation. We have a lively and in-depth talk on the importance of structural integration when you are trying to get pregnant, as well as during pregnancy, and then my favorite part of this topic, what you can do for yourself postpartum. Mary Ellen’s gentle approach has helped many women with issues both during pregnancy and postpartum. It’s rare that women get referred for physical therapy related to fertility issues, but Mary Ellen works hard to change any stigma, open up a dialogue, and be an advocate for the benefits and health-related gains of seeing either her or a practitioner with a similar approach. Finally, we talk with her about self-care being one of the most important things you can do for yourself, your partner, and your baby, along with her advice for those trying to have a baby.



Takeaways

[2:15] Mary Ellen gives the background of her becoming a physical therapist. Both she and I are nerds at heart with a love for the human body and healing! She ended up getting a reputation as the person to see when no one could figure out what was going on with them.

[5:20] The normal fertility rate is 57% of couples trying by 3 months will become pregnant, and her results were bringing people up to the average.

[9:27] Mary Ellen raised therapy guide dogs and now there are puppies at her office!

[11:49] Mary Ellen takes a very gentle, yet effective, approach to physical therapy for infertility. She looks for trigger points, muscular and structural issues, and acts as a catalyst to get the body to release what it does not need.

[16:21] Mary Ellen looks at both the pelvic muscles to see if there is anything to be released and then next the lymphatic system. The lymph system and fascia are both two crucial elements often overlooked when it comes to fertility and women’s health.

[20:43] She often treats women during pregnancy around week 36 to help prevent birth trauma. Some need just one appointment, and some need more frequent treatment.

[24:05] Postpartum work is super important to help a plethora of issues that women may think they are stuck with for the rest of their life.

[34:46] Women in France take a few weeks after giving birth to get physical therapy for their pelvic floor walls.

[37:29] Mary Ellen and I both stress the importance of self-care after giving birth.

[39:36] Her one piece of advice for women trying to get pregnant: there is so much more than just Western Medicine. You have to do what you need to become pregnant, but keep an open mind to the body/mind connection and “alternative” treatments.

[42:10] With some women who have abuse and trauma in their past, their pelvic floor holds a lot of tension. Usually, it helps to deal with the emotional portion first, and then it will help to unblock the head and the heart. Then a physical worker can help clear some of the trauma.

Screen Shot 2018-09-27 at 3.14.10 PM.png

Special thanks to Dr. Frank Netter for spending his life creating such amazing anatomy drawings for geeks like me!

 

Continue Your Journey:

NCCAOM.Org

American Herbalist Guild 

Atlas of Human Anatomy

Pelvichealthresearch.org 

Mechanicalinfertilitystudy.com

Reliefathand.com

Episode 7 | Is Adrenal Fatigue Behind Your Infertility?

Treating Adrenal Fatigue Naturally to Restore Your Fertility for Both Males & Females

Description: In today’s episode we are talking all about burnout — how it happens, how to recover naturally, which herbs to take and why meditation helps. I will also cover how long it takes to fully recover, and why so many of us in our culture experience a higher level of stress than ever before. As we mentioned in previous episodes, our society puts an emphasis on “doing” rather than “being” and accomplishment rather than relaxation and rejuvenation. While both are necessary for a balanced and successful life, we’ve seen more cases of burnout and adrenal fatigue than ever before, and I wanted to tackle the subject of which herbs could help those of you who are just plain burned out. Today, I'll be going through the main adaptogens and highlighting their functions when it comes to treating fertility in both men and women, along with their general functions, so you can make an informed choice for your situation.

Takeaways

[:59] We have seen more cases of burnout and adrenal fatigue recently in my clinic due to the effects of Hurricane Irma.

[1:49] Burnout happens when you’ve pushed your stress response system past its limit of nightly repair. You’ve been ‘stretched’ for so long that you’ve actually started to put a strain on your body rather than simply being mentally fatigued. It begins to take a toll on your physicality and your reproductive hormones take a nosedive,  along with your immune system, energy, and cognitive repair mechanisms. Your brain starts saying, “I can’t let you keep pushing yourself like this anymore, so I’m going to basically send you into exhaustion and breakdown so you have no choice but to hit the brakes and pull over to the side of the road.”

[2:25] Dr. Hammer, my mentor, used to describe adrenal fatigue like this as a type of protective depression that comes over the body in order to force you to rest.

[3:32] Here are just some of the many common symptoms and health problems caused by adrenal burnout:

  • Blood sugar problems and insulin resistance, which is both prediabetes and hypoglycemia

  • Brain fog, concentration problems

  • Difficulty falling asleep (you feel “tired and wired”) or restless sleep

  • Digestive symptoms

  • Fatigue, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

  • Feeling stuck in the “on” position – overwhelmed and overdrive

  • Food cravings, especially for sugar, carbs, or fatty foods, and afternoon sugar or caffeine cravings

  • Frequent colds, infections

  • High blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes

  • Hormonal imbalances, PMS, fertility problems, menopause symptoms

  • Inflammation, joint pain, fibromyalgia

  • Irritability, anxiety, or depression

  • Waking up tired in the morning

  • Weight gain (especially that “spare tire” or those “muffin tops”) due to cortisol being released

[5:49] Today I'll be talking exclusively about my favorite category of herbs called adaptogens to help you heal your adrenal fatigue and burnout. Adaptogens are a group of herbs that were first categorized with that name around the 1940s, though they’ve been used in traditional herbalism for thousands of years for their ability to improve stamina, fertility, and immunity, and as general tonics to promote longevity and well-being. Adaptogens help to regulate the hypothalamus and adrenal glands (your HPA axis), which are in charge of your stress response and cortisol production. In a stressful situation, adaptogenic herbs maintain and restore balance, normalizing your physiological response to prevent your body and mind from jumping into overdrive and becoming exhausted at every stressor. This protects your skin and body from the toll of stress and the damage of hormones like cortisol that stress releases.

[7:32] The herbs that I am discussing in this series all fall into the “generally regarded as safe” category, but that does not mean they are safe for everyone. There aren't many studies done with these herbs during pregnancy, and not all herbs are suitable for all people, so just something to keep in mind along your journey.

[8:28] Many herbs work synergistically with other herbs, so even though I am going to outline individual herbs in this series, keep in mind that most of them, if not all, are going to work best when they are combined with other compatible herbs. This is also an area where an herbalist's training and skill can take healing to a whole new level. That said, there is also value in the practice of “simpling,” where you focus on using just one single herb so you can intimately connect with its effects before using in a more powerful combination.

[9:06] While you'll start to feel improvements in as little as a week, I tell most patients to stay on them for 3-6 months and then come off and see how you feel. It all depends on how depleted you are and it takes some time to reverse damage from prolonged stress.

[10:45] Rhodiola Rosea

Rhodiola Rosea is one of the most clinically researched adaptogens with widespread traditional uses. With the ability to aid in regulating the production of cortisol, it manifests anti-fatigue, anti-inflammatory, and antidepressant benefits. Rhodiola has been studied for the ability to reduce stress in night duty physicians and fight off the fatigue of students caused by stress during exams. Strong scientific evidence for Rhodiola Rosea SHR-5 extract exists in improving attention, cognitive function, and mental performance in fatigue and in chronic fatigue syndrome. Rhodiola extract helps promote a calm emotional state and supports strong mental performance, optimal immune function, and hormonal balance. If you've ever seen it in its raw form you immediately notice its light pink color and sweet rose scent. Its cooling nature helps to avoid jitteriness that can sometimes be a side effect of other adaptogens like ginseng. This is why I reach for Rhodiola when I'm trying to reduce anxiety in a patient. It also improves mental and physical stamina, improves sleep, and reduces, “burn out,” and irritability. It boosts the immune system, decreases the frequency of colds and infections, and reduces inflammation. It is used in the treatment of chronic fatigue syndrome as well as fibromyalgia. It can be beneficial for poor appetite and as part of a treatment plan for chronic stress headaches. It's helpful in the treatment of ADHD, especially when coupled with high doses of essential fatty acids like fish oil. Personally I have used it multiple times while climbing the Pyrenees to avoid altitude sickness. It works exceptionally well for this when combined with cordyceps, reishi mushroom, and holy basil. In Tibet, it's been used for eons before ascending Everest. If you are interested in coming to the Pyrenees with me next year, check out our retreats page for more info.

[14:02] This herb has been coveted and used as medicine by many over thousands of years.The ancient Chinese had such regard for this herb that they sent expeditions into Siberia to obtain it. Siberians also secretly transported it down to the Caucasian mountains where it was traded for wines, honey, and garlic. And newly married Siberian couples routinely receive bouquets of Rhodiola as a sentiment towards increasing fertility. In men it improves erectile dysfunction, low libido. In women it relieves amenorrhea and infertility caused by minor hormonal imbalances or stress. And because of its additional ability to control blood sugars, it can be useful in the treatment of Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).  

Dose: 200-400 mg in capsules or tablets daily OR 2-3 mL (40-60 drops) of tincture, in water, 2-3 times daily. As a decoration simmer 1-2 tsp with 8-10 oz water for 15 min covered for then steep for an additional 45 minutes. Strain and consume 1-3 cups per day as needed. Use products standardized to 2-3% rosavin and 0.8-1% salidroside and of the Rosea variety. You may take it as a fertility tea alone or with others in an easy to comply with pill mentioned below.

Cautions: Avoid if you have bipolar depression with manic behavior. Rarely it can cause insomnia in very sensitive people.

Adrenal Response by Innate 

Adrenal Response CC by Innate 

HPA Axis by Gaia

Cortisol Calm — paired with the next herb Ashwagandha

[15:42]  Ashwagandha

Ashwagandha, sometimes known as Indian ginseng, is one of the most commonly used adaptogen herbs in Ayurvedic healing to help balance and restore the body. Ashwagandha is a powerful calming agent, naturally lowering cortisol, reducing fatigue, balancing thyroid hormones and regulating immune function.

Ashwagandha has over 4,000 years of traditional use in India. It is considered both a food and a tonic medicine for improving energy, memory and learning, promoting libido, and preventing premature aging. Ashwagandha is calming and anti-inflammatory. It is used to improve sleep, reduce anxiety, improve memory, and reduce inflammation and oxidative stress (damage from inflammation). It boosts the immune system, is included in the treatment of arthritis, and can be beneficial in the treatment of fertility challenges.

It has been used in Ayurvedic medicine mixed with ghee and honey to treat low sperm count and sexual debility. In a double-blind, randomized, placebo-controlled trial that investigated a group of 46 male patients between 26 and 40 years of age who had low sperm count, between 5-20 million/ml. The group receiving the treatment were given 225 mg per day of a full spectrum root extract of ashwagandha. Ashwagandha root has also been used traditionally as an aphrodisiac and has been found in numerous studies to increase the secretion of testosterone in humans and animals.

Surprisingly, after just 90 days of therapy, the study found that the Ashwagandha group experienced a whopping 167% increase in the amount of sperm when compared to the control group. It was also found that the Ashwagandha group experienced a 57% increase in sperm motility. Serum testosterone also increased in this study by 17%, and LH (luteinizing hormone) by 54%. It is quite clear that ashwagandha is a tonic to the male reproductive system when the information from this study and previous studies are combined. It is for this reason that I recommend that women with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome do NOT use Ashwagandha for stress, fertility or adrenal health (even though it is present in many fertility formulas for women). Women with PCOS already have high levels of male hormones and in theory, Ashwagandha could take the hormones the wrong way. It is thought that ashwagandha works not only through improving male hormone parameters but also by reducing stress. it is known that stress increases the amount of radical oxygen species that can damage the sperm. It can be helpful for a woman that is experiencing weakness from repeated heavy menstrual bleeding or recurrent miscarriage. One of my favorite fertility blends is Ashwagandha with holy basil and nettles for this indication.

[19:27] Aviva Romm suggests It’s suited for when you might say:

  • I’m tired and wired.

  • I struggle to fall asleep.

  • I have chronically achy and painful joints or arthritis.

  • I deal with memory and brain fog.

  • I’m nervous or anxious.

  • I have chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, or chronic muscle tension.

Dose: 3 to 6 grams of the dried herb in capsule form daily OR 1 to 4 mL (20-80 drops) of tincture, in water, 3 times per day. Decoction: take 1/2 tsp dried root in 8 oz of water, simmer for 10 minutes, steep for an additional 30 min. Consume 4 oz 2-3 times a day as needed.

Cautions: Not for use in pregnancy; though not likely to be a problem, use cautiously if you are sensitive to plants in the nightshade family; avoid with pharmaceutical sedatives and pain medications. Avoid if you have hemochromatosis (excess iron). Avoid using if you have hyperthyroid.

[20:04] Holy Basil: The Vitalizer

Holy or “sacred” basil has been revered in India for over 5,000 years as an herb that calms the mind and spirit and promotes longevity. In Ayurvedic medicine, it is called Tulsi, which means “incomparable one.” It is used to improve energy and relieve fatigue, for its anti-inflammatory and antioxidant actions, and to lower blood glucose, triglycerides, and cholesterol. Holy basil may also protect the liver, helps with nicotine withdrawal, and elevates the mood, especially providing relief from mild depression. While this herb is related to common basil, it is a different species and common basil is not a substitute. Not only is it used as a medicinal, it is sacred to the Hindu religion and is used in the morning prayers to ensure personal health, spiritual purity, and familial well-being. Strings of beads from the plant's stems are used in meditation to give clarity and protection, hence its name. Daily use of this herb is believed to help maintain the balance of the chakras of the body. It is acclaimed as possessing sattva (energy or purity) and as being capable of bringing on goodness, virtue, and joy.

Properties: adaptogens, antibacterial, antidepressant, antioxidant, antiviral, carminative, diuretic, expectorant, galactagogue (promotes the flow of breast milk), and immunomodulator.

Dose: 2-3 mL (40–60 drops) of tincture, in water, three times daily

Cautions: None known.

[22:32] Shatavari: The Hormonal Harmonizer, Queen of Women’s Adaptogens                            

Shatavari is considered the “Queen of Herbs” in Ayurvedic medicine, where it is beloved as one of the most powerful rejuvenating tonics for women. It is nourishing and calming, as well as hormonally balancing; it is used for irritability and many hormonal imbalances affecting the mood, for example, emotional symptoms of PMS and menopause. It is also used as a fertility tonic and may be used for vaginal dryness, low libido, and sleep problems and perimenopause. In addition, research suggests benefits for improving immunity, antioxidant activity, improved insulin secretion, reduction in gastric acidity, and the prevention of stress ulcers. It has mild estrogenic and cholesterol-lowering effects.

Dose: 2-4 mL (40-80 drops) of tincture, in water, 2-3 times daily

Cautions: Avoid if you have a history of estrogen-receptor positive cancer.

“Due to lack of safety data, I do not recommend adaptogens for use during pregnancy, however, they are considered safe for use while breastfeeding, and can help new moms to cope with the stress and demands of sleepless nights! I also do not recommend adaptogens if you are taking any medications that suppress the immune system, unless your doctor also approves, as there can be herb-drug interactions in this case.”

— Hillary Talbott

 

Continue Your Journey- Links, References & Citations:

Herbal Consult

You wouldn't take your car to the plumber to get it fixed so why wouldn't you consult an herbalist when looking for the safest natural fertility solution when you are trying to conceive? Customizing herbal blends and sourcing them from safe and reputable suppliers is what I do all day long every day and I want to help you and your partner feel better and conceive faster. With this option you will undergo the same evaluation I put my acupuncture patients through before prescribing anything. We will go over your history & your partner's history, current medications, past bbt's, and any past labs so you know you are receiving a custom herbal solution unique to you. 

EPISODE 6 | MASCULINE & FEMININE ENERGY | Erin Gray

Description: Hello and welcome to a fun and juicy episode, all about male and female energies. Today we will be answering the question: what’s the difference between these energies and why does it matter when it comes to conception? Our guest on today’s show is the lovely Erin Gray, mental health counselor and licensed massage therapist extraordinaire. We also talk about balancing the male / female energies, the cultural background of how we got here in the first place, what not to do, and solid examples you can try out today.

 

 

Takeaways:

[1:15] I invite you to join me in Sweden this summer at my Relax & Recharge Retreat in the Land of the Midnight Sun. Imagine doing daily yoga and meditation surrounded by horses and alpacas, being served farm-to-table organic meals, and hiking or journaling as you practice simply BEING. Of course, partners and friends are welcome, but this meditation retreat is designed to help you get in touch with your male and female energies and the balancing act of giving and receiving. To learn more about that you can visitladypotions.com/retreats for specifics.

[2:23] We welcome our guest, Erin Gray. Erin was featured in Episode 4, as well, where we talk about “Doing vs. Being.”

[3:16] I’m a woman married to a man, why do I need to how to operate from my male or female energy? First, the biological functions. It throws our cortisol levels off, throws us into fight or flight mode, and creates a cascade of hormonal imbalance.

[6:22] In order to optimize your fertility, it’s important to balance the energy of womanly “receiving” and male “doing.”

[9:14] If culture values doing over reflection, how did we get this way? Culturally women want to feel valued, so it is natural that we would align to try and fit in. However, the tides are changing and more women in society are owning their femininity.

[12:39] What happens to men when we compete with them, and how do we correct it when it happens? We each have masculine and feminine energy, and the ideal situation is where there is a polarity between the two.

[15:16] Men want to show up for the feminine. If we emasculate them, they will shut down and not engage with us.

[17:23] What would you tell a listener who just realized she’s been operating from her masculine side? We hear my own personal story about it! One of the best ways to jump quickly into the feminine is to softly ask for what we need and what would make us happy. We also need to soften to our own desire to our feminine place.

[24:19] We give some examples of how to step down from your masculine energy and invite your man to step up from his. It’s like magic!

[28:49] Praising your partner has energetic benefits for both you and your man.

DOWLOAD YOUR CHEAT SHEET HERE

Continue Your Journey:

To learn more about the Relax & Recharge Retreat:ladypotions.com/retreats

To connect with Erin Gray: Erinmgray.abmp.com

About Erin:

Erin M. Gray is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a Licensed Massage Therapist. She graduated from Nova Southeastern University with a Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling and from Bhakti Academe School of Intuitive Massage and Healing with a diploma and certifications in Level V Bhakti Massage and Bhakti Energy Work. She is also certified as a Level I Aromatherapy Practitioner.

 

EPISODE 5 | MINDFUL MOMENTS | Don Miguel Ruiz - The Four Agreements

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”

— Mahatma Gandhi

 

Episode 5- Mindful Moments and The Four Agreements

Thank you for joining me for the first installment of Mindful Moments on Fertile Minds Radio. If you listened to episode 1 or you have worked with me in the past than you already know meditation is a large part of what I do to keep rising towards the best version of myself AND a big part of what I teach to my patients in order to help them have a deeper inner awareness and to achieve high mental clarity. Now, you might be asking yourself what this has to do with fertility? 

In my opinion it has everything to do with conceiving and here’s why. I think of meditation as a tool that we can use to help cultivate peace during stressful times. It’s a practice that starts to leak into the rest of our daily life, helping us to feel calm and clear even when we are in the middle of the storm with big decisions to be made. Further more, it’s a tool that we can use to calm the nervous system. 

When the nervous system is in fight or flight, it’s broadcasting the message to every single sell in our bodies that the world is not a safe place at the moment and it’s certainly not a good time to procreate. It’s telling our immunity and sex hormones to drop, our blood to clot incase we get cut and shunting our blood flow to our limbs away fro our organs so we can fight or run away. Now most of us have pretty stressful lives and end up in a low grade fight or flight most of our day. The problem is, that the reptilian part of our brain that governs our body's reaction to whether the Nervous System is broadcasting the message “fight or run” vs “it’s time to feed and breed,” doesn’t realize that normal stressors like your boss, a full email inbox, or getting your period when you were sure that you were pregnant this time, isn’t exactly the same as a saber tooth tiger ready to make us their next meal. This is why meditation is a valuable tool now more than ever. It can over-ride this very primal part of our brain that hasn’t yet caught up to the immense stimuli we come into contact with moment to moment. Life has changed at a rapid pace, but our brains are a little slow to catch up- and believe it or not the tool of mediation can help us to hack our own nervous system. 

 

 

So it can help us to stay calm not only while trying to conceive, but while we are pregnant which is super important because that baby is being bathed in a biochemical reaction you creating in reaction to every thought you have. Think about that for a second. You have a thought, an emotion occurs, neurons in your brain fire changing your biochemistry and bam, your baby absorbs it. This is why I love to teach women to meditate BEFORE they get pregnant. 

And lastly, don’t forget the ultimate test for which you will be super glad you have access to this tool called meditation- parenting. 

Your kids are going to challenge you to grow on every single level more than you could ever dream. They’re like little mirrors of self realization beaming back at you 24/7 and we all know self awareness or constructive criticism is easier to take when your calm, so why not cultivate this practice now?

At the beginning of the episode I read a quote for Ghandi that I absolutely love. It’s such a great reminder that it’s our minds that ultimately create our destiny.

There is alignment between our inner dialogue and our outer dialogue... between what we’re thinking and what we’re doing; between how we’re feeling and how we’re living life; between what our thoughts are and what we’re saying.

It’s easier to speak from the heart when there’s alignment.  It’s easier to not have to wonder, “Is this person really on my side?”  There’s passion and excitement in your alignment, there’s freedom and a code that lets you live your human expression from a more universal space.  This couldn’t be more important than when you are communicating with your partner and your health care providers during this vulnerable time of trying to conceive. 

Today’s meditation is based on a simple code that I find relevant to clarity, daily evolution, & personal transformation: the Four Agreements by the author don Miguel Ruiz. Now, my meditation teacher davidji has encouraged me to get this meditation out there because it’s so useful to so many. It’s so simple, yet so true. I used to have a print out of the four agreements hanging on the wall next to my desk during graduate school, because it seemed that every patient I had that was emotionally suffering could somehow be relieved by simply adopting one or a few of these agreements into their lives. 

It's a powerful code to integrate into every word, thought and deed, and mostly likely –these four timeless truths- are already integrated in some way into your Sacred Values.  If nothing else, they can act as a powerful opener of your heart; and that will allow you to create more love in your life, feel more love and give more love. If you are asking yourself right now, I don’t know what my sacred values are, I encourage you to check out davidji’s new book Sacred Powers launching this Winter. In it you’ll find powerful exercises to execute after you meditate to help you design your divine code. Once you decide the principles you are committed to living your life by, making decisions big and small get a whole lot easier. 

The Four Agreements are:

#1.  Be impeccable with your word. 

#2.  Don’t take anything personally

#3.  Don’t make assumptions

#4.  Always do your best

For today’s meditation I’m going to give you examples of how don Miguel Ruiz’s concept of the four agreements could pertain to a fertility journey. So Get comfy and let's meditate together. 

If you love this meditation and want to own it without this intro so you can do it anytime anyplace simply text 4Agreements to 44222. 

 

Continue the Journey

Your Brain On Meditation- What Happens?

My beloved teacher davidji

The Four Agreements- Audible

The Four Agreements- Amazon

Special Thanks to Musician

Christopher Lloyd Clark

This Meditation- text 4Agreements to 44222- if you get a message that say service access denied call T mobile and ask them to "enable short message codes."

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P.S. If you leave a review it totally helps us out and women just like you looking for some peace and answers, so pay it forward and leave a review if you can. xo

EPISODE 4 | DOING VS BEING | Erin Gray, LCMHC

I had the pleasure of working with today’s guest, Erin Gray, in a previous practice and fell in love with her unique style and impressive skill set. She can unravel problems and focus on the root of the issue by working with the patient in partnership with their energetic and emotional body. She helps women everywhere gain clarity and insight along their process towards wellness. Today’s episode is all about doing vs. being and the false notions that we are lazy or passive when we receive. Our generation has been raised to be goal-oriented and to go after what we want, whether it’s a law degree or a new car. While being independent is great and what the culture values, infertility is way different and it’s important to value receiving to get pregnant and stay pregnant. There's power in learning how to lean into doing things for the purpose of feeling good rather than to achieve a specific result. Finally, Erin and I give some tips for self-care that hopefully will provide listeners with a feeling of hope, relaxation, and gratitude.

“You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction.”

— BHAGAVAD GITA CHAPTER 2 VERSE 47

“We are talking about divine timing. That is absolutely not the same thing as setting and achieving a goal.”

— ERIN GRAY

Takeaways:

[7:15] Today’s episode is specifically on doing vs. being. Doing is masculine, directive, and action-oriented. Being is subtle and feminine and receptive.

[10:54] Learning how to receive can be uncomfortable and a foreign experience. You are not alone and many women wonder what’s wrong with them or what else they can do.

[17:42] It is normal to feel frustrated or sad when what you are hoping for doesn’t happen right away. Many times it’s between 3-5 months before the feeling kicks in for most women who are trying to conceive.

[21:23] We introduce the pleasure principle of women learning how to have joy and kindness to themselves and to listen to what their body is telling them.

[24:42] Some self-care activities that are free (mostly) include: reading a nice book, journaling, taking a relaxing bath, and meditating.

[29:45] Learning to be alone is one of the most important gifts you can give yourself and the loved ones around you.

 

Continue Your Journey:

Erin Gray

Pussy: A Reclamation 

“Your willingness dictates the pace. Instead of just giving you the answers, a great healer helps you find yourself.”

— HILLARY TALBOTT

About Erin:

Erin M. Gray is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a Licensed Massage Therapist. She graduated from Nova Southeastern University with a Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling and from Bhakti Academe School of Intuitive Massage and Healing with a diploma and certifications in Level V Bhakti Massage and Bhakti Energy Work. She is also certified as a Level I Aromatherapy Practitioner.

EPISODE 3 | Can Herbs Treat Infertility & How to Use Them Safely

HERBS FOR FERTILITY- PART 1

This episode is meant to give you a glimpse at how herbs can be safely used in treating infertility. I could do an entire show just on herbs alone, but today I'll be giving you the basics so you have a better understanding of how herbs might help and why exactly we are prescribing what we are. Herbs can seem scary for a gal that’s used to prescriptions and my hope is that this episode can shed a little light on not only how helpful they can be, but to help you feel more secure about how and why to use them. And if you are one of those that wants to do it all yourself, I’ll point you to some resources to find more information on your journey of self-discovery. For those of you that want to know why, but prefer to let a board-certified practitioner diagnose and prescribe, I’m going to tell you how to find one of those too. So let’s dive in.

 

 

Takeaways:

[4:20] Herbs are amazing tools to treat infertility and have been used by most cultures on the planet to enhance fertility for thousands of years. There is historical evidence that the Egyptians, Greeks, Chinese, and Indian cultures all used them in this fashion.

[5:57] The 8 Pillars and the philosophy behind enhancing fertility when using TCM is this. Balance the body out and it will get pregnant on its own. Truly it’s that simple.

If there is heat, cool it.

If there is cold, warm it up.

If there is dryness somewhere in the body, find it, find the herb that moistens that part of the body and use it. 

If there is dampness, dry it.

If there is deficiency, supplement it.

If there are signs of excess, drain it.

[6:59] Western Herbalists like an “eye for an eye” treatment; where they match the biochemical makeup of the herb to the condition, looking at it's proportions of flavonoids, glycosides, and terpenoids. Eclectic medicine was a branch of American medicine which made use of botanical remedies along with other substances and physical therapy practices, popular in the latter half of the 19th and the first half of the 20th centuries.

[9:22] TCM, or Traditional Chinese Medicine can treat the unexplained and confusing occurrences in the body that sometimes Western medicine can’t.

[11:41] Aryuvedic medicine uses the doshas as a diagnostic paradigm and relies heavily on herb and food as medicine.

The three doshas — Vata, Pitta, and Kapha — are derived from the five elements. Also known as mind-body types, the doshas express unique blends of physical, emotional, and mental characteristics. In Ayurveda, health is defined as the dynamic state of balance between mind, body, and environment. You can achieve and maintain a vibrant and joyful state of health by identifying your mind-body type and creating a lifestyle that supports your unique nature.

Continue Your Journey: 

Deepak Chopra

Dosha Quiz

Adrenal Thyroid Revolution

Find an Acupuncturist

American Herbalists Guild

National Certification Commission for Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine

American Board of Oriental Reproductive Medicine

EPISODE 2 | ORGANIC CONCEPTIONS | A Fertility Course That Teaches You How To Surrender

“Sometimes the struggle is the gift and the door closing is leading you somewhere else.”

BELIEVING & TRUSTING FOR ORGANIC CONCEPTIONS

Today’s guests are Marc Sherman and Dr. Kate Webster, creators of the revolutionary online course Organic Conceptions. This course began with Erin and Marc Sherman’s personal struggle in trying to conceive for a decade. In partnership with Dr. Webster, they created a roadmap for themselves and others to chart a course that engages and empowers couples on their path to parenthood. in today's interview they share the primary goals of Organic Conceptions, primary expectations that arise during a fertility journey and the importance of surrender. Marc and Dr. Webster are really doing some amazing work with helping others achieve emotional health and insight during their process and I thank them for digging deep in their own experience to provide a ton of hope, guidance, and information for others.

Takeaways:

[2:40] I share the impressive backgrounds and bios of Dr. Kate Webster and Erin and Marc Sherman.

[7:05] Dr. Webster covers the primary goals of Organic Conceptions, stemming out of predictable problems and patterns with infertility. She also shares what the program is not so people have appropriate expectations.

[8:00] Depending on the statistics, between 1-in-6 and 1-in-8 couples struggles with infertility.

[16:09] They combine influences from biological, emotional, psychological, and sociological models.

[22:03] The program provides the opportunity for couples to go through the steps at their own time in their own home rather than rushing to appointments.

[26:29] Every story culminated into three chapters and nine transitions: The conception of doubt, couples losing patience, and surrender into life.

[29:23] Dr. Webster lists the five primary expectations that arise: age, sequencing of life events, gender roles, images of success, and trust in the medical model.

[34:30] The stages in the surrender into life chapter: rawness, reaching forward and uniting together, renewal. 

[36:40] More than one third of women have pre-conceived doubt about their reproductive abilities before they even try get pregnant.

[44:40] It’s difficult for young women today to try and fit in a career, marriage, and family goals all in one decade.

[55:28] We hear the difference of mal-adaptive vs adaptive coping.

[56:49] Surrendering does not mean just relaxing or giving up on a dream for parenthood. Dr. Webster and Marc share stories of couples that accept the things they cannot change, let go of past disappointment and control over the future to end up finding life again and new interests and passions. A lot of times people have success even after they are significantly older than when they first started on their journey.

[69:15] Every listener gets a free PDF and a monetary discount. They are coming out with a workbook shortly as well.

- Self discovery audio program for couples designed to improve your emotional health and well-being through a fertility journey. 

- Purchase includes the CD Box Set  which contains the Audio CD's, Custom CD Case, Writing Journal and Pen.

- You will also have 12 months access to the complete on-line audio of the Journey to Parenthood and Beyond where you can listen anytime, anywhere. 

- It is highly suggested that you do this program together, as a couple.

“We have a tendency to … leap to conclusions rather than trying to reframe it.”

 

Continue Your Journey:

Organic Conceptions

You are the Placebo

“So often we are held hostage by our beliefs, but we can change our minds. What we think may not always be true.”