EPISODE 86 | EVERYONE IS PREGNANT BUT ME | with Erin Gray

We all have something that we want that sometimes is a struggle to see other people around us getting or having the feeling like you’re the only person that doesn’t have the thing. But, what should you do when everyone around you is pregnant, and you are having a meltdown? Our guest, Erin Gray LMHT, LMT takes us through a four-step approach that you could apply to avoid a meltdown or at the very least lessen the blow.

Listen in as we explore the four quadrants and how we should handle life in each quadrant until we get to a sweet spot. 

 

Key Talking Points of the Episode: 

  • Balancing a message of truth with a message of hope and not being Pollyanna 

  • The difference between a goal, desire, and intentions 

  • Engagement and attachment 

  • Low engagement with low attachment 

  • Low engagement with high attachment 

  • High engagement with high attachment 

  • The sweet spot: High engagement with low attachment 

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Key Milestones of the Episode: 

[00:46] Introducing the episode guest 

[08:01] The difference between a goal, desire, and an intention 

[08:20] What is a goal? 

[12:22] How do we define an intention? 

[21:42] engagement and attachment 

[26:05] Low engagement with high attachment 

[27:50] High engagement with high attachment 

[31:39] The sweet spot: High engagement and low attachment 

[43:33] How do you stay in the sweet spot? 


EPISODE 83 | THE POWER OF SELF COACHING | Postpartum Depression with Liz Langston

Dealing with Postpartum Depression

Are you a new mom struggling to keep up? Do you feel like taking care of your child is way more work than you anticipated leaving you constantly overwhelmed? Or are you finding yourself in a constant emotional funk, while telling yourself you should feel happy? You could be suffering from postpartum depression.

Many women suffer from postpartum depression, and even more go undiagnosed with postpartum anxiety. The magnitude of the depression and/or anxiety can vary from one woman to the other. Some women suffer from severe postpartum depression including suicidal ideation, while others have a mild version constantly feeling like something just isn’t right.

When you are stuck in the thick of negative postpartum takedown, it can feel like it’s going to last forever. The good news is, it doesn’t have to, and there is a way out.

In today’s episode, we are honored to have Liz Langston join us. Liz is a postpartum coach and a postpartum depression survivor. She shares with us how she made it out of the depression and how she realized her mission to lift up other moms that are suffering like she did.

Listen in, learn, and get inspired.



Key Talking Points:

  • Liz’s postpartum experience

  • How Liz became a coach

  • Understanding the ladder model

  • Dealing with negative emotions

  • What causes postpartum depression?

  • Chinese medicine for depression

  • Believing in something bigger than yourself

  • The 50-50 rule

  • Can depression be inherited?

  • How the mind communicates with the body

Key Milestones of the Episode:

(04:02): Getting to know Liz

(06:01): How Liz fought and got out of depression

(08:51): How Liz became a coach

(12:19): Understanding the model… What Liz calls a ladder

(20:35): Dealing with negative emotions

(22:27): Emotional adulthood

(23:51): Emotional vomit

(26:18): What causes postpartum depression?

(31:38): Chinese medicine view on depression

(34:11): Believing in something bigger than yourself

(38:58): The 50/50 rule

(43:13): Can depression be inherited?

(45:12): How your mind communicates with the body

If you think you or someone you know are affected here are the key points to understand how and when to get help with a professional and what the difference is between the baby blues and PPD.

Signs and Symptoms of PPD can include any of the following and last for 2 weeks to 12 months.

Postpartum Depression Onset & Frequency of Occurrence

In the US, estimates of new mothers identified with PPD each year vary by state from 8% to 20%, with an overall average of 11.5%. 11

Expert opinions vary as to the timing of the onset of PPD. For example, symptoms of PPD can begin:

• During pregnancy or following childbirth up to 4 weeks Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5) definition2

• During pregnancy or following childbirth up to 12 months The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) definition8

• Without treatment, symptoms may persist for months or up to a year.9

Symptoms include

EMOTIONAL • Feeling sad, hopeless, empty, or overwhelmed • Crying more often than usual or for no apparent reason • Feeling worried or overly anxious • Moodiness, restlessness, or irritability • Anger or rage • Persistent doubt about your ability to care for your baby • Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

PHYSICAL • Physical aches and pains • Changes in appetite • Lack of sleep or oversleeping • Difficulty concentrating

BEHAVIORAL• Loss of interest in things that are usually enjoyable • Avoiding friends and family • Having trouble bonding or forming an emotional attachment with your baby

The Baby Blues Onset & Frequency of Occurrence

Generally peaks within the first few days post delivery and resolves without treatment within 2 weeks. 3,7

Estimated to affect 80% of mothers. 3,12

Symptoms include 3,12

• Sadness • Frequent crying • Anxiety • Mood swings • Irritability • Insomnia • Anger • Fatigue

IF YOU ARE WORRIED YOU ARE EXPERIENCING PPD OR THAT YOU WILL VISIT https://www.postpartumdepression.com/ TO MAKE A PLAN AND GATHER TIPS ON HOW TO SPEAK TO YOUR PROVIDER WITHOUT BEING DISMISSED.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS CLICK HERE TO FIND THE HOTLINE THAT BEST FITS YOUR SITUATION https://afsp.org/find-support/im-having-thoughts-of-suicide/

Key Quotes from the Episode:

“It’s always an option for us to open ourselves up to whatever the universe has to offer us.”

“As we take more responsibility, we have more power.”

“Your thoughts precisely create your exact experience of whatever circumstance you are facing right now.”

“The most profound thing about the model is that it truly can solve any problem for any human being.”

“The more decisions you have to make in a day, the less willpower you have as the day goes on.”

“Your feeling will create your actions.”

“We have the ability with our human brain to attribute thoughts to a circumstance and, therefore, feel something.”

“One of my gifts is just being able to do it in a way that’s not heavy, and it’s not draining, and it’s not shaming.”

Connect with Liz Langston:

Instagram

Website

Listen to her podcast: The Postpartum Coach Podcast

Related Episodes on Coaching

https://www.ladypotions.com/fmradio/2019/11/19/episode-82-the-1-tool-to-stay-sane-while-ttc

https://www.ladypotions.com/fmradio/2019/3/24/episode-48-how-to-manage-your-fertility-thoughts

https://www.ladypotions.com/fmradio/2019/6/2/episode-52-mindful-moment-creating-certainty-when-you-are-anything-but?rq=certainty

References: 1. FAQ091 Labor, Delivery, and Postpartum Care. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Obstet Gynecol. 2013:1-3. 2. American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association Publishing; 2013. 3. Earls MF; Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health American Academy of Pediatrics. Incorporating recognition and management of perinatal and postpartum depression into pediatric practice. Pediatrics. 2010;126(5):1032-1039. 4. Prevalence of Self-Reported Postpartum Depressive Symptoms–17 States, 2004-2005. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwR/ preview/mmwrhtml/mm5714a1.htm. Accessed November 2, 2017. 5. Robertson E, Celasun N, Stewart DE. Risk factors for postpartum depression. In: Stewart DE, Robertson E, Dennis CL, Grace SL, Wallington T. Postpartum Depression: Literature Review of Risk Factors and Interventions. Toronto, Canada: University Health Network Women’s Health Program; 2003. 6. Depression Among Women. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website. https://www.cdc. gov/reproductivehealth/depression/index.htm. Accessed May 3, 2018. 7. Postpartum Depression Facts. National Institute of Mental Health website. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/ postpartum-depression-facts/index.shtml. Accessed July 12, 2018. 8. Screening for Perinatal Depression. ACOG Committee Opinion No. 757. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Obstet Gynecol. 2018;132:e208-212. 9. Vliegen N, Casalin S, Luyten P. The course of postpartum depression: a review of longitudinal studies. Harv Rev Psychiatry. 2014;22(1):1-22. 10. Moses-Kolko EL, Roth EK. Antepartum and postpartum depression: healthy mom, healthy baby. J Am Med Womens Assoc. 2004;59(3):181-191. 11. Ko JY, Rockhill KM, Tong VT, Morrow B, Farr SL. Trends in postpartum depressive symptoms—27 states, 2004, 2008, and 2012. MMWR Morb Mortal Wkly Rep. 2017;66(6):153-158. 12. As reviewed in Thurgood S, Avery DM, Williamson L. Postpartum depression (PPD). Am J Clin Med. 2009;6(2):17-22. 13. Abramowitz JS, Meltzer-Brody S, Leserman J, et al. Obsessional thoughts and compulsive behaviors in a sample of women with postpartum mood symptoms. Arch Womens Ment Health. 2010;13(6):523-530



EPISODE 82 | THE #1 TOOL TO STAY SANE WHILE #TTC

Understanding the Self Coaching Model

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER

  • How our thinking about our past serves or doesn’t serve us.

  • The importance of understanding that the past has no control over us until we have a thought about it.

  • Why recognizing the difference between a thought and a circumstance is crucial to understanding how your brain works.

  • How using the Self Coaching Model will allow you to obtain full control over your life.

  • How you can move away from a completely negative thought to a place where you think positive, nurturing thoughts.

  • How to run a self coaching model C-T-F-A-R

Overview

You may have heard me talk about the MODEL on episodes 48 and 54 when I talked about certainty and thought management, but truly you need to hear it again. These are concepts you can’t hear enough to really understand them. this is because most of us were not taught how to manage our minds. Even fewer of us were taught exercises to really understand our minds, not just how to conceptualize how the mind works. This exercise of using the self coaching model is something I have been working with for two and a half years now in Self Coaching Scholars with Brooke Castillo. It’s been instrumental in me reclaiming my health and my sanity as a step parent. I know this can handle any situation and I want to teach it to you. I truly believe if you work with it and actually write down the models that you run, it can be the #1 tool to help you keep your cool while you are patiently waiting to conceive!

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Hey, If you enjoy listening to this podcast, I invite you to sign up for my fall into fertility cleanse. It’s a led cleanse for 5 days with an emphasis on healthy food choices and mind work to get control of your mind when it comes to diet and your fertility journey. You’ll enjoy a week’s worth of super easy and nutritious meal recommendations with shopping lists and daily live coaching with me to help you get ahold of buffering patterns that are holding you back from your most fertile self body, mind and soul. We start Monday, December 2nd. Head over to https://www.fertilemindsradio.com/ and click the work with me tab to sign up.

Disclaimer *

You must not rely on the information in this podcast as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.If you have any specific questions about any medical matter you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition you should seek immediate medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this website or in this podcast.